Crikey — put your bloody hand up if you can remember that song? Blimey, you must be as old as I am. Well, strike me blue if I tell a lie.

Alright, I'll stop channelling Steve Irwin. But it's interesting to learn that many of the words we use, or laugh at for being quaint or ocker or passé, are actually a type of blasphemy. Let me explain.

Did you know that crikey is short for "Christ kill me" (originally as part of an oath, like "Christ kill me if I'm lying", and later just a substitute for straight blasphemy of "Christ")? Or that the amusing Cockney expression Cor blimey shortens a similar oath "God blind me"? Bloody has very mixed origins, probably bringing together many strands before it was banned by the Roman Catholic church as a contraction of "by Our Lady"? Words that we use without thinking, or laugh at when we heard them on TV, can have a meaning that should really make us pause for thought.

It all started with the idea that you shouldn't actually swear an oath by God, because the name of God is his holy mark or essence. Many ancient civilisations thought this, but the early Christians were particularly concerned by it. Jesus says in Matthew 5: 34-37, "But I tell you, do not swear an oath at all: either by heaven, for it is God's throne, or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. All you need to say is simply Yes or No: anything beyond this comes from the evil one." (TNIV)

Peculiarly though, the custom of swearing on God's body parts came into fashion — strange really, given the text from Matthew. According to Wikipedia, 'minced oaths', or profanities disguised to reduce their objectionable nature, came into fashion in the Elizabethan era because of Puritan opposition to swearing. That's when such oddities as 'sblood (God's blood) and 'swounds (God's wounds) and 'struth (God's truth, from which we get our very own strewth!) came into being. My personal favourite is from the early 1700s — od's bodkin (God's little body — who knew he was so small?).

Heck, darn, dang, blooming, bleeding, ruddy, all of them started out (or have been adapted) as ways of disguising blasphemy. So, if you want to avoid using them, you might ask what's left?

Well, not gosh, gee, geez, jeepers, gee willikers, golly or cripes — yep, you guessed it, they're all proxies for 'God', 'Jesus', or 'Christ'. As Exodus 20:7 says, "You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name." (TNIV)

So what can we say? You could follow Jesus' example, and say Yes and No.

Or try 'bother'. You might sound like Mary Poppins, but at least you won't be offending God.

A. Fusspot